Slaughter Bay Buccaneers News

Slaughter Bay 0 - 1 Chaos Kings
All went wrong. End of story.

vs. Necro Suprimus 8/3 -08

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After a hard fought first half where the pouring rain made for a very sporadic, yet strangely entertaining game, the Necro's didn't turn up for second half. Many rumours have been circulating about this event, though many of the fans closest to the Necro's locker room tell of strange tearing sounds and a lot of howling followed by bones scattering on the tiled floor and then, the sound of padded feet and barking in the distance....No one knows excactly what happened, but Slaughter Bay was handed the win. 2-0.

vs. Daddy's Hardhitters 8/3-08

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With a historic low attendance, even though many snotlings on the Hardhitters team had brought their families for a fun outing and a hope of watching their closest kin being smashed to green pudding, the crowd had already deemed this match a dud.
The two teams had something else in mind though.
The kick-off went far into Hardhitters pitch giving one of the snotlings (come on, you can't expect me to tell a difference between those green spots) ample time to get in position to catch the ball. And catch it he didn't as he was too busy hurling abusive slang at the buccaneers. Soon both teams were taking shots at eachothers questionable origins. The ref was slow in acting, but his chainsaw made enough of an impression for the two teams to settle down and get on with the ball playing. The four ogres didn't have their eyes on the ball though and soon had a major brawl going on the line of scrimmage.
The Slaughter Bay boys was not scared so easily and happily went into the ruffle, head or feet first.

Blood bath followed. Not much attention was given to the ball and the score at half-time reflected this. 0-0.

The Buccaneers started the second half on an offensive. The Hardhitters apparently didn't expect this and soon they were one ogre down and were hard pushed to get at the Buccaneers player, Deth Methell, sprinting for their end zone. The snotlings weren't going to take this though and a green tide swept over the hapless Deth. The ball somehow ended up in the crowd and an avid fan (a family member of one of the snotlings, I bet) threw it onto the pitch again. Another quick-witted snotling stormed off after the ball, snatched it up and zig-zagged down the pitch, into the spiked fist of the onrushing Rayor Throatslitter. Reeker Badbreath, The Goblin Buccaneer was quick to snatch up the fumbled ball, but contrary to his coach and team mates' constant pleading to pass the ball downfield for players better placed for a touchdown, he decided to keep the ball for himself. A wise decision that turned out to be, as Reeker a few minutes later was moonwalking into the Touchdown Zone. Contrary to Reeker's beliefs that he did it all by himself, the sacrifices made by the other Buccaneers players to get him down field and safe, must have been a joy to watch for the Buccaneers coach. That was team play, by everyone except the one with the ball.

With both teams decimated by the violent war waging in the middle of the pitch, the last minutes of the game ticked by without any game-changing incidents. Slaughter Bay Buccaneers won a beautiful game 1-0 on a beautiful day.

vs. Miskatonic Mischief United 15/3-08

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On an eerie night in the glow of the full moon, we played the living dead and walked to tell the tale.

A great game with loads of turnovers, cliffhangers and an interception saw both teams leave the field with a single point. The score ended 1-1 and according to both sets of fans that was an unfair result for their respective teams.

vs. Low Riders 15/3 - 08

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It all started well for the Buccaneers, scoring a TD and injuring a dwarf but then the fun stopped.
The injured dwarf wasn't really injured, just needed a bit of the Bugman's Brew to get going again, and so did the rest of his team-mates.

Half an hour later Slaughter Bay had half their team left, trailing the dwarves 2-1. This was also the final score, as the Buccaneers didn't push much to get a 2nd TD with 6 men left on the field.

After the game Buccaneers coach, Rune Heartripper, called for a more focused effort to ban doping (most often in the form of strong dwarven ale) from Blood Bowl. Many reporters listening to the mad ravings of Heartripper told a tale of excessive whining, bordering on the extreme. Heartripper however, claims that he's never whined once in his entire life and that this misconception has started because he was once attacked and bitten in the throat by a slavering monster, and that has left his voice damaged and sounding slightly...thin. Most would call it whiny.

vs. Human Dogs 27/3 -08

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As Rune Heartripper so colourfully put it at the post-match interview: "Those *censored* bastards *censored* *censored* spiked our *censored* water. It's *censored* unbelievable that those *censored* goat-loving*censored* are allowed to *censored* bribe the ref and *censored* hex our players and *censored* tie our *censored* shoelaces. Who the *censored* *censored* *censored* *censored* and I'm just getting started you *censored* *censored* *censored* *censored* *censored* *censored* *censored* *censored*. Next time I'll *censored* rip their *censored* bodies into *censored* bits of *censored* *censored* stuff. Why can't you *censored* officials get this *censored* right instead of *censored* up the *censored* game. And *censored* *censored* my grandmother *censored* *censored* a hard iron rod *censored* into your *censored* eyesocket. You *censored* *censored* *censored*."
After this it get's pretty unintelligible.

Play-Offs 5/4 -08 - Slaughter Bay Buccaneers

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As The Buccaneers hadn't qualified for the play-offs they were left with the task of cleaning up the bottom part of the league. This was done in splendid style as they swept aside Daddy's Hardhitters 2-0 in a hardhitting game.
Next up was Necro Suprimus, but as the Necromancer's were having a difficult time raising the corpses they needed, the game was cancelled, with The Buccaneers taking the win.

Rune Heartripper was unusually full of praise for his boys after the game with the hardhitters, claiming that: "..no team is too big to devour for my favorite mutants"(whatever that means). The only sour grape was the hinting at cruel torture being heaped on Buccaneers player Ruyker Bloodrose, after he played a really poor match, gifting away the ball on several occasions: "Ruyker knows he did bad. Real baad".

After this Heartripper promised that next season would see the Buccaneers top the table, if not on points then kills and that no one would be safe from his machines of destruction.

vs. Chaos Kings 19/4 - 08

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As Heartripper refused to give the post-match interview we got a hold of one of the Buccaneers players heading for the locker room. Cap'n Tummy-Acher the troll.

Reporter: So. How do you feel right now, having lost a game that could so easily have gone the other way?
Cap'n T: ....Huh?...
Reporter: Ehm...How do you feel?
Cap'n T: ...Wha?...
Reporter: ......
Cap'n T: ...Goood...
Reporter: Ok. You had quite an awful day today, what with the standing around and doing nothing and all. Do you have anything to say on your performance today?
Cap'n T: OoKe...Me hungry.
Reporter: Right. So, you're one of the newest additions to the Buccaneers, do you think any of your team-mates are upset about the way you played today?
Cap'n T: OoKe...Mmmmm...
Reporter: Let's move along then. The Chaos Kings are known for their no mercy policy and a very high kill rate. Were you scared of them before the game and has your opinion changed afterwards?
Cap'n T: ....Me hungry...Aahhh...
Reporter: What, stop that. Help! Get off me you smelly freak of nature! Aaaaaaaaa!!...
Cap'n T: *burp!* ...Mmmm...Goooood...

vs. Black Tooth Tribe 19/4 - 08

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The day promised much with the sun shining bright on the green turf at Boby Park.

The Black Tooth Tribe kicked off with Buccaneers resident dark elf, Ruyker Bloodrose, deftly picking up the bouncing ball. As Ruyker looked for players to pass to he became so entranced with the indescribable carnage being wrought on the line of scrimmage that he didn't notice the green blur of Igor Gauntlet Runner thundering towards him. Down went Ruyker and away went the ball. Igor was too caught up in stomping on the unconcious Ruyker to notice the desperate Buccaneers players blitzing him from behind. Down went Igor and the ball was in Buccaneers hands again. The game had turned into Black Tooth Tribe's advantage though, and it wasn't long till they were celebrating their first touchdown of the game. The rest of the half finished in a great bloodbath with Buccaneers the worse for wear.

Next half started lively with the Tooths stampeding down the picth in search of a second touchdown. They soon had it and was quick in forming a defence in eager anticipation of the ensuing fight.
The Buccaneers had a different plan. A plan born of desperation. One Ogre's desperation, that is. Gronk Slaughterface, having felt harshly judged by the ref on several occasions on the day, picked up a thing at hand and threw it at the opposing team in frustration. Away went the puzzled goblin, Reeker Badbreath, flying towards the end zone, carrying the ball and trying to get his feet under him. He landed in a flurry of movement and was up and running for his life away from the screaming 7ft. tall green monsters charging after him. 1-2. The Buccaneers were back in it.

This turn of the game left the Tooth's clearly baffled and they soon lost the ball in the Buccaneers half. The ball was quickly passed to Reeker who was promtply thrown up-field by a stupidly grinning Gronk. The gods of fate didn't smile on Reeker though and Gronks stray throw pitted him into the path of a mad orc. Reeker couldn't keep his balance and dropped to the ground in a heap of flailing arms and legs, the ball bouncing into Black Tooth hands. The whistle went soon after and the Buccaneers were left ruing what could have been the perfect comeback, but turned out to be just another letdown. A letdown full of new potential, though.

Better luck next time Buccaneers!

vs. Ulthwé Highlords 27/4 - 08
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Cap'n Tummy-Acher "I likes dem Elves"

This game wasn't the most exciting if you were to go by standings alone, with both teams making up the bottom of the league. But these ties betweeen struggling sides can sometimes turn into ´the most exciting games.

The Ulthwé Highlords isn't the most popular of teams, and you could tell by the number of fans they brought. But what they didn't have in numbers, they certainly have in status. Princes, princesses, lords of various elven kingdoms and all their slaves and servants. The prawn sandwich brigade.

In stark contrast were the maniacal fans of Slaughter Bay Buccaneers. Most of them being scurvy seadogs on land-leave and looking for trouble.


The game kicked-off with the Buccaneers on the recieving end.
The ball was passed to Reeker, who in turn was passed down the pitch to make it 1-0 Slaughter Bay.

The Highlords were clearly baffled and a strange strategy saw them form a cage and try to push down the sidelines.
After a few confused looks from the Buccaneers, and end was put to the caging and a few elves put down. 2-0, Slaughter Bay.

The second half saw the elves pass the ball for the first time, resulting in a touchdown. But the Slaughter Bay boys were not going to let their first points of the season slip from their grasp. A little grinding down the middle of the pitch and the score was 3-1 Slaughter Bay.

This was also the final score of the game, with Slaughter Bay Buccaneers picking up their first points.

vs. Grim Batallion 1/5 - 08
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"Dem orcs're good, dem orcs're mean, dem orcs're gonna eat your spleen!"
The famous team anthem of Grim Batallion rocked the whole stadium as the players made their way onto the pitch.

It wasn't enough to rankle the Slaughter Bay Buccaneers, who were in inspirational form. 2-1.

vs. Low Riders 15/5 - 08

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This day was a day filled with blood, rain and mud.

The game kicked off with Low Riders recieving the ball.

Three seconds after the whistle went the Buccaneers were three players short as a result of the beserking dwarves, ripping into anything standing over 4 feet tall.

From then on it just got worse.

In the end, the Buccaneers were lucky to escape with all but one player still breathing, and a handfull still standing.

The score reflected this: 2-0 to the hard hitting dwarves.

The loss of the controversial Ryuker Bloodrose didn't seem to faze Rune Heartripper as he promptly went amok on the surviving players in the dressing room for losing a game to a team of dwarves.
Some reports even suggest that it was Heartripper himself that caused the untimely death of his leading passer. Other reports speculate on the presence of the new Buccaneers dark elf, Chardan'tyrr Swiftvenom in the dead and injured room, with some sources contemplating that Chardan'tyrr, a former master assassin who specialized in poisons, actually stood behind the sad passing of Bloodrose.

When asked about the death of his former team mate Chardan'tyrr merely shrugged and replied: "It was his time".

Another player who promtply got replaced was the new skaven player Kritislik.
Kritislik only played this one game for the Buccaneers, but Heartripper was ruthless in his criticism, even going so far as claiming that the skaven are an inferior race, only useful as reserve rations if there are no bisquitz left.

The Buccaneers were looking forward to their first play-offs since..well, ever.

A first pairing with the Chaos Kings made for a bad start, and as was widely tipped the Buccaneers crashed out of that game. No chance in hell.

The Slaughter Bay boys still had a shot at some metal though, and with Grim Batallion standing in the way, hope was not lost.

A rough game followed with lots of bonecrushing blocks and teeth flying everywhere. The only difference between the two teams was the mercurial Reeker Badbreath. Every time he had the ball you knew something special was about to happen. 3-2 to the Buccaneers after a third half touchdown by Reeker after slipping between two dumbfounded orcs catching nothing but air.

Bronze this year - gold next! or blood.

First game - Human Dogs

The dogs were back after spending last season getting their rabies shots.

A raging rainstorm couldn't keep the crowd from a game widely tipped as the game-most-likely-to-end-in-a-bloodbath.
As most would have guessed, Slaughter Bay started the match by making short work of every human within reach. No serious injuries were caused though and the game swung from end to end as both teams gave their all trying to find a touchdown. First half ended 0-0, but the ball was with the Buccaneers. A slow grind down the sidelines gave the opportunity for Swiftvenom to make his first touchdown of the season, and what a touchdown that was. Skipping between several humans and picking up the ball on the way Swiftvenom threw himself over the TD. 0-1 Buccaneers!
At the dying moments of the game the great Belsul Bloodletter found himself sourrounded by a few of the Human Dogs players angry at the way the game had gone. He fought bravely but was soon overcome by superior numbers and was subsequently kicked and punched to death by the rabid Dogs. We will remember him fondly as I'm sure he will be looking up at us, smiling, from the very pits of Hell.

Bucc's 1 - Dogs 0

Into the meatgrinder.

A game that saw some thrilling plays from both teams with the dimunitive Reeker bagging two touchdowns.
2-2 and a Great result for Slaughter Bay.

Reeker Badbreath had a few comments to his fans after a successful match against the Chaos Kings:

Reeker's just wants to says to 'is fans; Piss off or giv' over you's food'n'gold.

Reeker's sick an' tired of all of you's talk of autokraffas an' he's gonna get Gronk to beat you's asses if you's bother Reeker again.

F%¤# you's all!

Rest In Pieces - Reeker Badbreath
And that's what he'll do.

On the first day of season 3 play-offs, in a game against the vicious orcs, fan favorite Reeker Badbreath was brutally murdered.

We all remember him as the little hopeful Goblin impressing at try-outs for the newly formed Buccaneers. And he duly impressed everyone with his far-reaching flights, nimble landings and his careless skipping through throngs of enemies left grasping nothing but thin air, a bad smell and a cloud of flies. From the start Reeker was destined for greatness, and he didn't let us down.
We are all left mourning the loss of a true Great-in-the-making, because in spite of all his accomplishments it was plain to see that he was far from reaching his true potential.
We'll miss you Reeker. We'll miss your mazy runs. We'll miss you flicking off at opposing players. We'll miss the way you celebrated every touchdown by rubbing your crotch with the ball, making sure that no-one else on the pitch would even think of touching the ball ever again. We'll miss you.


-Postmatch interview with Deth Methell

Reporter: You lost a game that was all but won. You lost three players, two forever and Rayor for your next game. You lost your team mascot and leading touchdown scorer, Reeker Badbreath. How do you feel?

Deth: To tell you the truth Jim, I feel great, and the rest of the lads are pretty upbeat too.

Reporter: ....Sorry..?

Deth: Yeah! I mean why wouldn't we? Ok, we lost the game that could've taken us to the final, but, you know, another chance will probably come and we'll give it a go again. On the plus side the flies have already begone clearing from the locker room and some of the lads have even risked removing their gass masks.

Reporter: So, let me get this right; You're actually positive despite losing your probably most important game to date, because you've also gotten rid of your leading top scorer?

Deth: Yeah, you've got it right. I mean, he's not irreplaceable, is he. Anyway, I think I saw someone taking the cape and eyeband off to the cleaners and it'll be ready for the next gobbo, so I'm not fretting. Between you and me, Reeker had a pretty foul mouth too. We're all pretty pleased that Reeker got nicked.

Reporter: Ok. Well, your team is known for its rather special rites regarding your dead. I've heard that you honor every dead team member by placing gold coins over their eyes, imbibing a bottle of rum in their memory, and setting fire to their corpses. You lost two men today. Will that mean two bottles of rum?

Deth: I think we'll stick to one. At least in regards to honoring anyone. Frankly, no one's even seen Reekers body since the apothecary threw it outside to get rid of the stench. I heard someone babbling about Reekers body beeing carried off somewhere but I couldn't imagine anyone willingly laying a hand on that filthy pile of rotten puke-dung. But, you never know. People sometimes do the strangest things.

Reporter: Thank you Deth, for your very honest and informative answers. Any last words for the millions fans mourning Reeker Badbreath?

Deth: What!? Anyone actually cared about that little git!?

Reporter: Well, yeah. He was rather exciting to look at when he really got going.

Deth: Oh. Well...I guess...You know what? Get a life! Gobbos aren't meant for a long life and the only reason we kept Reeker around and didn't off him ourselves, was that when he was on the pitch, people always seemed to punch him instead of the rest of us. He was a git and anyone who liked how he played are gits! Reeker stank, period!

Reporter: Ok. And back to you Tom!....

The new season has begun but there's one team missing; The Slaughter Bay Buccaneers.

Rumour has it that their ship was last seen anchoring at Bloody Knife Reef, a pirate island in the south seas. No one has heard or seen them for the last two months though, and attempts at divining their location in crystal balls has all been in vain, resulting in flickering images of blood, rum, gunpowder and things that no sane man were ever meant to see. These various attempts have struck dumb two wizards, killed a third by shock and left four in a coma.

A few insiders would have us believe that the Buccaneers are on their annual training camp, but nothing's for sure.

Stay tuned for more news on this mystery.